People are not good at tabulating costs in their head. I don’t believe that most people would be able to estimate what they spend in a month accurately, myself included once I stopped using my budget spreadsheet.
After listening to a lot of podcasts and YT videos that interview people/couples who are in debt, it seems to be from either due to:
- Lifestyle inflation
- Lots of small purchases
(I know someone out there is going to say “tHosE arEn’T the OnlY ReaSOns”. Well these are the ones I want to talk about that relate to the money interviews I’ve seen.)
The lifestyle creep is not that surprising. People buy a house and then feel they need to fill it with a ton of stuff. They want to upgrade rooms in their home. They want a newer car, “nicer” clothes, luxurious-feeling trips.
The “debt by a thousand purchases” is a little more surprising. I feel that people don’t often pay much attention to purchases of $20 and under. Do that multiple times a week and it adds up.
Fast Food – $12
Drink with friends – $19
Two coffees – $13
Trinket at a store – $21
T-shirt from an Instagram ad – $30
Special treats for their dog – $7
Paid parking – $8
Sit-down meal with friends – $25
In a week that’s $135 in extra spending, not including any regular expenses.
Small purchases add up big time:
- Alcohol
- Soda
- Meals out
- Delivery
- Random purchases online
- Coffee/tea out
- Parking fees
A lot of these purchases are either due to not planning ahead, lack of discipline, or fear of what others will think.
Not Planning Ahead
I avoid buying food or water when I’m out because I always have snacks and a water bottle with me. If I know I will be out at least a few hours, I eat before. This prevents the need for buying food because I’m hungry. It shouldn’t come as a shock if we last ate at 1pm and are going out after work at 5pm then we’re going to be hungry. I’ve gone on hikes with people that didn’t bring their own water.
Why are you going to the airport and buying food or water before a flight? You didn’t decide to travel an hour before the flight leaves. Unless it’s a company expense, plan ahead!
Lack of Discipline
I am very strict with myself about what I purchase. No soda or alcohol out. I rarely eat out, especially if it’s unplanned. I prefer to plan going to eat so I can look forward to it. It makes it feel special. I know some people that go out to eat so often that it’s just routine for them. I don’t mind feeling hungry and heading home to eat, rather than stopping to eat on the way. I always have food at home, even if it’s just toast and peanut butter.
I’m currently traveling full-time and make the majority of my meals at home. If I find a cool restaurant, I’ll plan to go on a future day and I find the anticipation makes it more enjoyable.
Unwillingness to be Inconvenienced
A friend invited me on a trip to Las Vegas. I did my research beforehand and knew the cost of eating out was expensive and that the majority of hotels don’t provide a microwave, some have mini-fridges. And most do not offer a coffee machine, because they want you to eat and drink at their restaurants. When I travel, I always bring a coffee setup, so especially for Vegas, where coffee was going to be even more overpriced and I’d likely be stuck with Starbucks in a casino, I made sure to bring it. Problem was I flew Breeze and refused to pay for a bag, opting just for a personal item for the week. I was able to pare down my clothes and still fit a laptop and coffee kit (including grounds, thermos, immersion heater, mini scale, V60, cup). My friend appreciated my frugalness, as she lives out of just a backpack full-time. But other friends said they’d just have paid for the coffee everyday to avoid the hassle. And they’d have paid for a bag because they said they wouldn’t be able to travel with just a personal item. I feel like they could, it’s just too much work for them. (And these are friends that I know have debt). I assume a coffee each day would have been probably $6, so $42 over 7 days. And that’s just limiting myself to one coffee, when I prefer having 2.
Fear of What Others Will Think
This is a huge one that stops people from saving money. I will go hang out with friends at restaurants and bars and feel totally fine not eating or drinking anything. Even if someone asks me, I just say I’m not hungry. I did this in high school too. The more you say no, the more people will respect it. I often feel that when others are doing something and you say you’re not going to do the same, it makes them reflect on what they’re doing and wonder if what they’re doing is somehow “wrong”. Not saying I’m doing this to try to make them think in this way, but it’s something I’ve noticed and it makes people sometimes feel self-conscious.
I don’t feel awkward or weird not eating when we’re at a restaurant. And I don’t feel bad saying no when I don’t want to go out and do something. I’m not saying to never do things with friends and family, but you are allowed to say no to things. I think people feel social pressure to do what everyone else is doing around them. Kind of like the prevalence of vaping in friend groups.
I had a friend whose friend group decided randomly they wanted to go to some waterfall that was over 100 miles roundtrip. By the time we would get there, we’d only be able to enjoy it for a couple hours because those friends left late. This was also during the gas price increase from the Iran war, and I was trying to not drive unnecessarily, not only to save on gas but not to be wasteful. And that trip, to me, was a waste. Going out of town to a waterfall is something I’ve done, but I’m not going to go last minute, when I hadn’t planned on it, and would only get to be there a couple hours. Had no qualms saying no.
Obviously not a comprehensive list but maybe I’ll add more as I think of them.
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